{"id":6876,"date":"2020-10-04T18:10:54","date_gmt":"2020-10-04T22:10:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pages.uncc.edu\/aaron-toscano\/?page_id=6876"},"modified":"2022-09-26T16:20:25","modified_gmt":"2022-09-26T20:20:25","slug":"practicaleditingsituation","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/topicstoanalyze\/practicaleditingsituation\/","title":{"rendered":"A Practical Editing Situation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Below I discuss using not only\u2014but also<\/em> in my book Video Games and American Culture<\/em>. My publisher, Lexington Books, specified that I use the Chicago Manual of Style<\/em>, which I had never used. Fortunately, Charlotte has access not only to the physical manual in the Library’s reference cart but also (see what I did there?) to the online manual<\/strong><\/a>. Absolute lifesaver. The style guide, used quite often in History fields, details how to format a plethora of items. I mainly needed the citation formatting rules because I’m more familiar with MLA or APA, but I consulted it for many other standard practices. By the way, if you’re needing basic citation help, I HIGHLY recommend Purdue’s OWL<\/strong><\/a>. Even though they waitlisted me for my PhD, I continue to use that resource\u2014<\/em>since 1994!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Sentences for Analysis<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
  • In the very popular Madden NFL<\/em> series, gamers not only<\/span> assume control of an avatar representing a real football player, but<\/span> they also<\/span> control coaching decisions and can switch control to other teammates during game play.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    In that sentence, there are two independent clauses: one of 13 words and another of 16 words. If I delete \u201cthey\u201d, we no longer have a second independent clause, so we could remove the comma and have the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    • In the very popular Madden NFL<\/em> series, gamers not only<\/span> assume control of an avatar representing a real football player but also<\/span> control coaching decisions and can switch control to other teammates during game play.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Now, consider you\u2019re editing a larger work and you come across this sentence:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      • Patriarchal attitudes throughout Western civilization contributed not only<\/span> to women\u2019s disenfranchisement in the United States (until 1920), but also<\/span> to inequality leading to a \u201cglass ceiling\u201d that limits women\u2019s roles in leadership. Betsy Atkins reports, \u201cout of the Fortune 500 today, women [CEOs] number just 24.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        This sentence is 46 words and includes a quotation. As Kolln & Gray note, commas can be used for emphasis and clarity. If you think a sentence is too confusing without a comma, make the call to put it in, but aim for consistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        However, after that discussion above that basically says you can either use a comma or not (as long as you’re consistent), I HIGHLY suggest NOT using one if most of the sentences in a piece of writing have short sentences. Because my book used not only\u2014but also<\/em> in four sentences that were all under 50 words and only one had a quotation, I should have omitted the comma.<\/strong> If I had longer sentences with more subordination or longer subordinating and coordinating structures (including more with quotations), I would think including the comma throughout would be the better choice. Regardless of your decision (outside of class), be consistent. Because my experience tells me including the comma in this case is less standard in technical\/professional communication, we\u2019ll consider it not appropriate in this course.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        In case the above wasn’t clear, follow Kolln & Gray’s punctuation rule for the correlative conjunction not only\u2014but also<\/em> (p. 52). Remember, you use commas with coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS) when separating independent clauses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n\n\n\n

        Here are two more sentences with discussion from Video Games and American Culture <\/em>with the correlative conjunction not only\u2014but also<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        • This chapter continues debunking this specious link not only<\/span>* by citing the data that contradicts the link, but also<\/span> by analyzing the rhetoric of those claims and explaining the American cultural love of power and violence inspiring violent media.
          • *In the published book, I actually use the related \u201cnot just\u201d instead of \u201cnot only.\u201d There\u2019s a slight change in meaning, but we\u2019ll set that aside for now.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

            The above example comes at the end of Ch. 2\u2019s introduction\u2014right before the transition to a new section of the chapter. The emphasis, according to Kolln & Gray (p. 52), is on the second part of the sentence, specifically \u201cviolent media,\u201d which I discuss I the next section. Using the comma also \u201csignal[s] a slight pause\u201d (Kolln & Gray p. 48) and places emphasis on what comes directly after. That means emphasis is on \u201cby analyzing the rhetoric of,\u201d which is the overall theoretical justification for my analysis\u2014rhetorical analysis. However, for consistency, I shouldn’t have used the comma before “but also.”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            • The sports video game not only<\/span> allows gamers to have more perfect versions of themselves, but also<\/span> more convenient playing situations.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

              This 21-word sentence is in the middle of a paragraph and has no transitional emphasis like the previous one. While I could say that I wanted to emphasize the second part of the sentence (convenient playing situations<\/em>) by using the comma, for consistency, I should NOT<\/strong> have used commas with correlative conjunctions unless they separated two independent clauses. Maybe if the sentences were longer than the average length of sentences (50+ words) the comma before but also<\/em> would be the appropriate thing to do. Notice that this rule\u2014while it may seem absolute\u2014is a choice. In technical writing, consistency is paramount, and that should be our guide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \n\n\n\n

              Final point on this. Ch. 6 will discuss correlative conjunctions as \u201cpower words\u201d for emphasis in more detail (pp. 169-170). One key component to using any grammatical choice for rhetorical effect<\/span><\/strong> is to be strategic and use these techniques sparingly. I use the not only\u2014but also<\/em> construction four times in 150 pages. Considering the book\u2019s word count is over 50,000, that\u2019s not very much. I do use \u201cbut also\u201d without \u201cnot only\u201d twice, so, again, it\u2019s pretty rare. I use \u201cnot only\u201d without \u201cbut also\u201d four times. I tend to drop the \u201calso\u201d when I have two independent clauses. For instance, consider the following sentences:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              • Not only<\/strong> can one be Cam Newton (playing on the couch with his #1 jersey on), but<\/strong> the video game reproduces the roar of the crowd in the Carolina Panthers\u2019 virtual stadium.<\/li>
              • Not only<\/strong> is it very difficult to live \u201coff the grid,\u201d but<\/strong> it is next to impossible not to absorb cultural ideology.<\/li>
              • Furthermore, not only<\/strong> are post-apocalyptic video games popular, but<\/strong> TV and films in this genre are as well<\/strong>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

                The last example, with the signpost \u201cFurthermore,\u201d is the topic sentence of a paragraph. The new paragraph needs that transition from video game analysis to discussion of other post-apocalyptic entertainment. Reviewers can be so picky about a writer switching from one media to another unless there\u2019s an obvious signal to the reader that that\u2019s what\u2019s to come. Just my two cents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                Below I discuss using not only\u2014but also in my book Video Games and American Culture. My publisher, Lexington Books, specified that I use the Chicago Manual of Style, which I had never used. Fortunately, Charlotte has access not only to the physical manual in the Library’s reference cart but also (see what I did there?) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":598,"featured_media":0,"parent":2019,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6876","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2HAOx-1MU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/598"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6876"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9148,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6876\/revisions\/9148"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2019"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}