{"id":9558,"date":"2023-01-29T12:48:17","date_gmt":"2023-01-29T17:48:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/?page_id=9558"},"modified":"2023-01-29T12:48:17","modified_gmt":"2023-01-29T17:48:17","slug":"prosepractice","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/engl2116-014spring2023\/engl2116january30\/prosepractice\/","title":{"rendered":"Prose Practice for Next Class"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Practice Sentences with Revision Goals to Reduce Sentence Lengths<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Example: <\/strong>The bond markets are in disbelief of the ability of First world countries to maintain this level of debt. (19 words)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What action is hiding in the above sentence? A perfectly strong, active verb has been traded for a weak, dull noun. Let\u2019s break out the culprits\u2014an inactive verb, a \u201cto be\u201d verb, and too many prepositions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>are <em>in<\/em> disbelief<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>of <\/em>the ability<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>of<\/em> first world countries<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>of<\/em> debt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>First, \u201clevel of debt\u201d can easily become \u201cdebt level,\u201d which eliminates one prepositional phrase. Second, the verb <em>doubt<\/em> replaces \u201care in disbelief\u201d effectively, so we can cut out \u201cof the ability\u201d because that phrase is captured with <em>doubt<\/em>. Finally, drop the \u201cof\u201d before \u201cFirst world countries,\u201d and the sentence flows nicely. Also, notice that the subject \u201cThe bond markets\u201d is as close as it can be to the verb \u201cdoubt\u201d in the revised sentence\u2014that\u2019s efficiency, dudes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Revision:<\/strong> The bond markets doubt First world countries can maintain this debt level. (12 words)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>There&#8217;s always one of you&#8230;:<\/strong> Is there a difference in <em>meaning<\/em> between &#8220;doubt&#8221; and &#8220;in disbelief&#8221;?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Your Turn<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Revise the following sentences using the above example as a model:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The financial sector of the Charlotte&nbsp;economy mirrors the overall health of the economy as a whole. (17 words, reduce to 6)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Growth in these two segments are predicted to increase due to the surge of development in the north side of town. (21 words, reduce to 9&nbsp;or 8)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>This divided direction caused a degree of confusion on my part as to the type and extent of response required. (20 words, reduce to 11 and 5<strong>*<\/strong>)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>*Hint for #3: <\/strong>Consider creating two sentences (or two independent clauses) for the two main actions; then, determine whether or not you need both sentences (or clauses).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Remember, sentences in the real world do not come with numbers that show excess verbiage.<\/strong> The revision methods in this lesson are only a few strategies for revising your prose, but they are NOT always the best strategies. Contextual factors will govern your writing decisions more than any rules.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Practice Sentences with Revision Goals to Reduce Sentence Lengths Example: The bond markets are in disbelief of the ability of First world countries to maintain this level of debt. (19 words) What action is hiding in the above sentence? A perfectly strong, active verb has been traded for a weak, dull noun. Let\u2019s break out [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":598,"featured_media":0,"parent":9554,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-9558","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2HAOx-2ua","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/598"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9558"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9558\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9565,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9558\/revisions\/9565"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pages.charlotte.edu\/aaron-toscano\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}