Monthly Archives: December 2016

I have tons of ornaments that I’ve collected for about 34 years. Some are broken but I still keep them and some I just don’t put on the tree every year because honestly I get tired of hanging up so many at one time!

Over the years, I purchased an ornament for each person in the house. The ornaments I picked were carefully and specifically chosen based on particular interests that year or how I saw the person. Every ornament has a special place in my heart. I remember where I found each one.  While decorating the tree a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned to my brother how I came to have so many ornaments and he suggested I write a note about how special each one is to me. The note could be placed in the ornament box and my kids and their kids will be able to maintain a history of the treasured memories attached to my ornaments.

One year was pretty easy. I found an ornament for everyone in the same little nook at the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte, where I found most of them over the years.  They were all made of wood and said, “World’s Greatest something” which made it pretty convenient – one stop shop! There was World’s Greatest Cheerleader for my youngest daughter Reili who was about eleven at the time and cheering for pop warner little league football; World’s Greatest Mechanic for my son Josh; and, World’s Greatest Jack of All Trades for my oldest daughter Andrea because she’s so creative and literally can do pretty much anything.  For her tech savvy husband Mike, I got World’s Greatest Computer Wiz – he’s a tech genius. I think one of the biggest scores was the World’s Greatest Bingo Player for mom, her favorite past-time! And… of course, World’s Greatest Mom for me!! Those were all fun and pretty simple to figure out.

Other ornaments over the years included a really cute one of an adorable little girl holding a sign which reads Middle Child, Mom’s Favorite. Andrea used to always say that about herself. I was so excited when I found it. Ha! Ha! During the period that Josh was in the Army, I found one of a little soft male doll with dark hair dressed in Army fatigues. I love shoes so of course I was ecstatic when I found a pretty lilac colored high heel shoe with tiny embellishments on the toe. Some others not so obvious are a white clay star with royal blue eyes, nose and mouth for Reili; and, a clay cross with brown,yellow, and white colors on the front of it for mom

Perhaps one of the most dear to me is a real bird nest that we actually found in one of the Christmas trees we cut down on a tree farm in the North Carolina mountains years ago. We have saved and carefully wrapped it in tissue paper every year. It’s the last ornament we place in the tree before putting on the topper. There’s just something about it that warms my heart and reminds of the many blessings in our lives.

This will be the first Christmas without my mom. She passed away in April this year from stage five kidney failure. Mom lived with me and my family for almost twenty years. She came to visit and help out when I was just about to give birth to my youngest daughter, Reili, and she never left. That was twenty years ago!

That first Christmas after Reili was born my husband got really sick with a bad cold. I tried everything to keep my two week old baby from getting sick too. Every time he moved from the couch, chair, bed, whatever, I sprayed Lysol. I washed the bedding, throws, towels, etc. almost daily. None of this helped. Not only did Reili get sick but my mom did too. They both ended up in the hospital just before New Years Eve. Reili was on the 2nd floor and my mom was on the 5th. Reili was diagnosed with RSV (respiratory virus) and mom with pneumonia.

When my mom came down, she was in the middle of trying to sale her home in Ohio and planned to move to WV near my brothers. After she got sick, my husband suggested that she just move in with us so she could help take care of Reili. I asked him if he was crazy! I loved my mom dearly but after a few days she would start getting on my last nerve. But, he made a good argument so we built on a room for her with the sale of her house.

Having mom live with us the past twenty years had their ups and downs, some better than others, but it worked, especially for Reili. Mom and her had a special bond. Mom was with Reili all of her young life. She was her confidant, biggest spoiler, and best friend.

Over the years, I started collecting Christmas ornaments that I felt reflected each family member and what they were interested in at the time. Mom enjoyed playing bingo, loved God, and made the best biscuits around. Through the years she lived with us, I was lucky enough to find ornaments that embodied her very essence.

I have many special memories with my mom but one in particular occurred every year when we put up our Christmas tree. Mom would sit in the chair closest to the tree, carefully unwrap the many years worth of ornaments, and hand them to me and the kids to hang up. This year was the first year in twenty years she wasn’t there to help and repeatedly tell me where I missed a spot on the tree.

I truly feel that although mom is no longer living with us, her presence is and always will be in our hearts and special memories. Her direction can still be heard through every step of decorating our Christmas tree. Her words are with us whispering how to put the love in her homemade biscuits. And every time we see a bingo dobber we can imagine her carefully studying her multitude of bingo cards anxiously praying for a winning BINGO!

It is what it is – this is the answer to every dilemma I face anymore. When difficult things happen and it’s probably going to be something stressful, I’ve determined that the best strategy for me is to accept that it is what it is and move forward dealing with it or leaving it alone. I used to really stress about minute things, things out of my control, and stupid things. Between being numb to life crisis and I’m sure, with age, I’ve pretty much learned that again, it is what it is!

A brief synopsis of my blog: I’m 54 years old and the mother of three amazing kids, grandmother to two fabulous grandkids, as well as a caregiver for my 91 year old aunt. For twenty years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother who had serious health problems, the most devastating of which was stage five renal failure. After a difficult struggle the last several years, my mother succumbed to her deteriorating health in April 2016. I’ve talked about writing a book about my crazy life for many years but could never get myself to start it. So I thought I would try my hand at blogging about it first. My hope is that in reading my stories you might find some humor, support, or just a little comfort knowing you’re not alone in this sometimes overwhelming life.