Final Draft of the Declaration of Independence
Original Draft of the Declaration of Independence
Key Differences to Note
Because we privilege a rhetorical approach, the language used (and not used) will help us learn something about both the argument being made (we deserve to break away) and how the argument is made (tone). Compare the following
| Original Draft Paragraph 1 | Final Draft Paragraph 1 |
| …it becomes necessary for a people to advance from that subordination in which they have hitherto remained… | …it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another… |
| Original Draft Paragraph 2 | Final Draft Paragraph 2 |
| We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independant, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable… | We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights… |
| the history of his present majesty, is a history of unremitting injuries and usurpations, among which no one fact stands single or solitary to contradict the uniform tenor of the rest, all of which have in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. | The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. |
After the list of grievances, the original draft had an extra grievance–a long one–before the revised final three:
- Paragraph “In every stage…”
- Paragraph “Nor have we…”
- Paragraph “We, therefore, the Representatives…”
The Deleted Grievance
This is definitely a “time permitting” adventure, and I doubt we’ll get to it, but let’s see. I will copy+paste it below for our convenience. Please consider the content and tone. For tone, notice the harshness of Jefferson’s language:
he has waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating it’s most sacred rights of life & liberty in the persons of a distant people who never offended him, captivating & carrying them into slavery in another hemisphere, or to incur miserable death in their transportation thither. this piratical warfare, the opprobrium of infidel powers, is the warfare of the CHRISTIAN king of Great Britain. determined to keep open a market where MEN should be bought & sold, he has prostituted his negative for suppressing every legislative attempt to prohibit or to restrain this execrable commerce: and that this assemblage of horrors might want no fact of distinguished die, he is now exciting those very people to rise in arms among us, and to purchase that liberty of which he has deprived them, & murdering the people upon whom he also obtruded them; thus paying off former crimes committed against the liberties of one people, with crimes which he urges them to commit against the lives of another.
Jefferson, Thomas. Draft of The Declaration of Independence, Library of Congress: https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/declara/ruffdrft.html
Now, consider the content of this paragraph: slavery and inciting insurection.
- Jefferson is claiming that the King is responsible for slavery and the continuing of the practice in the Colonies.
- He also claims the King is fomenting insurrection among Natives as well as slaves, promising them property.
- It is particularly caustic of Jefferson to say that the King not outlawing slavery but using it to incite revolt means he has “prostituted his negative [refusal or veto].”
- Notice that his using “CHRISTIAN king” is a form of irony that calls out the King’s immorality.